MELLOWING WITH AGE

Time marches on and prepares us for what lies ahead, if we are willing to become something other than an image we are holding on to. The picture we have of ourselves must be allowed to change with time. The edges become worn with experience but not necessarily frayed. If we focus on the surface image alone, then the tension will cause deterioration. If we allow ourselves to bend and wrinkle and be folded by time, then timelessness becomes part of the wisdom which shapes our aging.

It’s a sad irony that holding on to the picture of youth does not makes us more vibrant and strong, but rather weaker and more fragile. There’s a wisdom and beauty that comes with allowing ourselves to be transformed by the ages and stages we are going through. At the end of our lives we have risen to new heights of wisdom and accomplishment if we allow ourselves to be carried where we are meant to go.

This is a silent achievement which will not receive rewards and recognition from anyone else. We are the only ones who will know and the knowledge of how we have mellowed with age, will allow us to die with contentment and peace.

FROM FEAR TO HOPE

When we’re children we’re not afraid of death. We’re open and curious about it, as we are about all aspects of life. But over time we adopt the attitudes of the adults around us, we notice they avoid talking about it in our presence, which sends the message that it must be very frightening. And then, too, adults may do more damage when they actually do say something, by telling us an untruth that leads to more distorted glimpses of the subject. My own parents made one of the worst mistakes, when they told me that dying was like going to sleep. That night I was afraid to fall sleep and when I did, I dreamt that I was buried under the ground with the weight of the world pressing in on my coffin, and no way to escape. I knew that when I was asleep I was still breathing, and the thought that I would have to do that underground was more than horrifying. This dream, with its accompanying fears, haunted me for decades.

As adults, we define reality as something we can see; we’re afraid of the invisible. We lose sight of the fact that we actually live in two worlds; one that is visible and one that is not. The intangible realm of death signifies the terrifying experience of being swept away by a torrent of darkness into territory where we’re out of control; where our identity is obliterated (and there is no iPod to distract us.) Just as we channel surf when we land on a program we don’t want to watch, we turn away from reminders of our mortality. But by not facing our fears, we compound them, unfortunately.

Shining Moments describes my journey from fear to hope, as I learned that facing the most dreaded fear of my life led not to paralyzing panic, but to an unblocked bounty of energy that accompanied a sense of living with meaning and with purpose.My father’s death showed me that we can leave this world peacefully without suffering. Watching the changes he went through as he died, left me with with the expectation and hope that the process of transformation which is visible during the dying process doesn’t come grinding to a halt when the body dies, but rather the energy continues to manifest even though we cannot see its effect. As scientists regularly discover phenomena that nobody previously knew existed, we have every reason to believe that there are unseen realities yet to be revealed. If you have sat with someone while they die, you’re aware that you are witnessing a process that has aspects which are very present but not visible; much more than meets the eye.